


The Gauze with Wings

by LittleLinor



Series: Trickle [2]
Category: Spiral: Suiri no Kizuna
Genre: Aftercare, Bloodplay, M/M, implied trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-07
Updated: 2013-05-07
Packaged: 2017-12-10 15:26:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLinor/pseuds/LittleLinor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You'd think cutting would hurt more than this."<br/>Aftercare fic, companion to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/787544">Trickle</a>, Eyes POV.<br/>In which Kanone is the one that needs looking after.<br/>Happy Ending AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gauze with Wings

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Tonake.  
> Warnings for blood, kink, trauma on Kanone's end.
> 
> (In case you couldn't tell, I suck at titles)

"Doesn't this feel a bit nostalgic?"  
Kanone is silent as he presses the soaked gauze to his chest, as precise as he is with a gun but much slower, much more careful, as if he was still holding a knife instead of healing him.  
The most shallow scratches have already started to scab with thin lines of crusted blood.  
When Eyes's gaze shows no sign of lifting, he finally answers.  
"What do you mean?"  
"The first times. Before you became completely untouchable. I helped clean your wounds like this, didn't I?"  
A small smile flashes across his face.  
"That didn't last long."  
"No, you're entirely too good at what you do. But still."  
Kanone moves to the line running down his chest, and really, cleaning this hurts more than the actual cutting. He takes in a shallow breath and lets Kanone press every segment meticulously, trying not to think of the wave of arousal and emotion he'd felt when Kanone slit it open. Being spent sexually only did so much.   
This would never have affected him so much, back in the day. He's not sure whether it means he's gone soft in these couple of years of not having to fight for their lives, or if pain has just taken on so many other meanings that it registers much stronger now.  
"You'd think cutting would hurt more than this," he sighs.  
Kanone doesn't answer. A few last touches and he moves to Eyes's back, to the deeper, longer gashes and the pattern they draw. And he stops. Seconds trickle by, silent, until he finally brushes one with his fingertip, so light that Eyes would barely have felt it if the cut and bleeding skin hadn't been sensitive to the slightest pressure.   
No other part of their bodies touch.  
"Kanone."  
The finger flinches away.  
"Kanone, come here." He lifts his arm a bit and reaches back with his hand, ready to pull him close.  
"I need to--"  
"That can wait." Silence. "Kanone, I've waited longer than this with wounds worse than those. Come here. You're more important right now."  
For an instant, he's scared that Kanone won't, that he's gone too far and not been careful enough and now reaching to him will be that much harder, but Kanone finally moves, catches his hand and rests his face on Eyes's shoulder.  
"What's wrong?' he murmurs, as gentle and soothing as he can.  
"I don't know," Kanone whispers into his neck.  
He twists, slowly enough to give Kanone time to react, to keep his reflexes down. Kanone isn't looking at him, but Eyes slides a hand into his hair anyway, cups the back of his head.   
"Look at me?"  
He finally raises his eyes, and Eyes has seen that look on him before, that look that's both completely helpless and utterly disarming.  
He kisses Kanone's lips, just once, softly and tenderly.  
"You're scared."  
Kanone laughs weakly.  
"I guess I am."  
He tightens his hold, pulling Kanone closer to him.  
"Scared of what?"  
"I don't even know. Myself."  
"Still? You've done nothing I didn't ask you to do."  
"It's not that," he says, shaking his head. "It's not doing it that's the problem, it's..."  
And Eyes understands, because even with all the progress they've made, there are some things that run deep, wounds that choke them at their core, and Kanone is still scared of loving in a way that isn't completely self-sacrificial. Of wanting. Of taking, even what's freely offered.  
"Wanting." Kanone flinches, but Eyes doesn't move his hand away, caresses his scalp instead. "You're scared because you wanted to."  
Kanone's nod is almost imperceptible.  
Eyes stands up on his knees, wraps his arms more securely around Kanone's chest, and whispers in his ear.  
"I'm about to move you."  
He doesn't give him time to nod, but Kanone still keeps his reflexes under control when Eyes suddenly tips their balance and pulls him down, until his chest and head are sprawled across Eyes's lap, his legs still curled behind his back. His eyes widen, but he doesn't move, and when Eyes craddles his head and starts combing through his hair, he relaxes, mouth softening into what isn't quite a smile.  
"Kanone..." He isn't sure what to say, how to make things all right, or at least their own fucked up little version of all right, so he buys himself time, runs his hand through his hair and bends closer to him. "... did you think I would think less of you for it?"  
Kanone shakes his head, but there's a fleeting hint of guilt on his face.  
"I know who you are, Kanone. Who and what you are. In every detail. And I love you _for_ it, not despite it." To his surprise, Kanone blushes, a slight dash of colour on his cheeks. His own body warms up at the sight. "I've known you since we were children. I knew who you were back then, and I've seen you grow into who you are now. I've loved you and watched you since then... and I haven't regretted my choice, not a single time."  
"Eyes..."  
"Besides," he adds with a hint of a smile, "it's not like I'm any better. I'm not selfless enough that I would have asked you to do it if I didn't _want_ you to."  
Kanone nods, and this time it's less ashamed admittance, and more understanding. A start.  
"... I have half a mind to let the ones on my back scar."  
Kanone's eyes widen, but it's with curiosity, not shock. Eyes finds himself relaxing, curling a bit closer to him.  
"Why?"  
"To remind you that I know exactly who you are... and that I'm not afraid of being in this with you." His voice turns more deadpan, to cover the smile that almost overtakes his face. "And because I think I'd enjoy the reminder myself."  
Kanone nods again, then brings a hand up to caress his face.  
"... it's been you for a long time, you know."  
"I know."  
He bends down to kiss him, and this time Kanone kisses back, gentle and more relaxed than he's been in a long time.  
"Did you know you look really beautiful like this?" he asks when Eyes finally releases him.  
"I haven't had the chance to check," he answers, tone flat. Kanone laughs. "I gathered from the way you looked, though."  
"Was I that obvious?"  
"Yes." He curls his fingers in Kanone's hair, a contrast to his matter of fact and almost cold words. "Which means we should do it again later."  
Kanone doesn't flinch, not quite, but there's hesitation in his eyes.  
"Eyes, are you sure--"  
"Did you enjoy it?"  
"... I did."  
"Then I'd be happy to. Whenever you can feel comfortable about it again."  
Kanone nods.  
"... promise me something, though?"  
"Yes?"  
"If I ever go too far... fight back."  
Something inside of him hurts, at that, because he never wants to fight him again, would rather let him do whatever than have to fight him again.  
But he can't expect Kanone to face his fears if he doesn't face his.  
"All right," he says, bending to kiss him again. "I promise."


End file.
